A Very Small Harem by Patricia Quintana Bidar

A Very Small Harem

I grew up with an attractive woman in magenta harem pants. She lived in a glass bottle. When her master called her, she would emerge to see what he wanted. They bickered constantly. One the one hand, she didn’t have to cook or do laundry. On the other hand, she really didn’t do anything. She thought about her master all day and didn’t come alive until he returned home. He was an astronaut who needed to appear sane. No one could know about her. Not surprisingly, Jeannie was always in a snit, disappearing in a tendril of smoke and pouting on her velvet couch inside the bottle. Her master had one friend, a dumb playboy. He was so dumb he thought nothing of the fact that his neighbor owned a woman in a bottle, and he never complained about all that arguing. He wore his snappy airline pilot uniform everywhere he went. Who wouldn’t? The chicks were all wild for these guys.


They Dont Make Neighbors Like They Used To


Patricia Q. Bidar is a California native, former fiction reader at Northwest Review, and alumnus of the UC Davis Graduate Writing Program. Her stories have been published or are forthcoming from Wigleaf, The Citron Review, Riggwelter, Train Literary Magazine, Flash Flood Journal, formercactus, and Postcard Shorts. Her Twitter handle is @patriciabidar.


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Image (modified): NBC Public Domain